dying with sleeping trees

“my desire for you is for you to fulfill your passion that God has given you!  So what is the desire of your heart from God?” he says.
i sit down to reply as the tears run down my cheeks. 

there was a time that answer came so quickly 

yet i’m on a new journey
one where my flesh dies
and verses that once blessed feel like flesh ripped away

the band-aids that used to work just don’t anymore

the flesh underneath is dying…slowly.

beneath the death will be just spirit…but how does she walk around in this body and not be flesh?

how does Galatians 2:20 work?   

I seek and wait walking through sleepy trees and work out this part of salvation with many tears and much trembling.
knowing that this flesh MUST DIE that what’s beneath it is so beautiful. 

I am finding myself dwelling on the words of Paul in Philippians 3-4:1

knowing that my past self wasn’t as smart as she seemed..wasn’t as confident in the flesh she pointed to.
seeing that the past is not where those who SEEK dwell.
ever looking forward
pressing harder and harder 
knowing where i am headed because my  “…CITIZENSHIP IS IN HEAVEN, and from it I await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform my lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.”

and somewhere in there 1 John 2:27 is still true.

yet it a non-me kind of way.
where the Galatians 2:20 verse is more true somehow.

i think it’s in the sleepiness that the trees find their strength.

in the quiet losing of leaves and the chill of winter
to bloom more radiantly in the spring.

i’m hoping against hope that I’ll resemble them…but not as the fleshy me.

as the SPIRIT filled Shannon who removes herself so it’s ONLY HIM! 

soon…i wonder if spirit bleeds as much as my flesh is now?


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