Day 4: Wow, ONLY day 4. Feels like much longer.
Dad is home and tiring easily, but I think his stubbornness is keeping him afloat. His wound (from where they drained his lung) is seeping less tonight. i’ve changed it 4x since we left yesterday. I’m afraid that i’m doing the bandage wrong. We packed i with gauze and wrapped an ace bandage around it this evening-his skin has been pulled off in places by the tape we used before. I did laundry and his running this evening.
I realize that this journal may end up like a list of things i did to help. maybe it will help me feel like i helped in the end. whether or not it feels like i am now.
Every song on the radio today was about Grace and God’s tendency to Always use any situation for His Glory! I’m convicted that i’m not praying for healing, but i don’t know whey i’m not.
Maybe because “miraculous healing” doesn’t have to come with “cancer free” as the answer.
Do I know it’s more than just “a little” cancer? am i being pessimistic? is it just because i am preparing for the worst, just in case it is the worst?!
Regardless, this song is on repeat in my head.
What if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if 1000 sleepless nights is what it takes to know You’re near?
What if trials of this life are Your blessings in disguise?
What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy?
What if trials of this life: The Rain, The Storms, The Hardest Nights are Your Mercies in disguise?
In the end, Dad WILL BE HEALED! regardless of location.
i don’t NEED to ask God for healing. GOD IS HEALER!
AND I NEVER WANT TO BE DISAPPOINTED WITH WHAT HIS CHOICE IS!