DAY 5: Today was rough. I didn’t have a sitter, so I had the girls with me as I did Dad’s errands and took him to the doctor. Obedience is hard on N when worry is added. poor thing.
Priorities! my girls are my #2 and my Mister my #1. God is before him. Dad is #3. I can only do what i can do! ONE THING AT A TIME! My babies are not an inconvenience! NOW OR EVER!! N will learn to obey and A will learn how to share and be gentle with her words. We are all growing. I will learn not to react in anger an to breath before i act. It will be God’s mercy that brings us through. one moment at at time.
I talked with Dad about home health tonight. He seems to think he won’t need it. That he’ll be back to work in a week. I HAVE SERIOUS DOUBTS ABOUT THAT.
DAY 7: no news from oncology yet. my uncle called today to ask what he could do to help me. i told him i don’t know. Only that I won’t be able to care for him if/when he worsens, even though my daughter heat feels like a jerk for saying it. I don’t want to look back and resent the fact that i COULD NOT! I know my family, especially my daughters, are my priority…i just feel like i should be doing more for him.
After an afternoon of rest, I have decided that i cannot be my dad’s mother or his wife. i am not qualified to be his doctor. I too quickly lose my temper with him, which is unfair to both of us. So, I returned his car to him and STRONGLY suggested he not drive, letting us drive for him instead, although i know he will do what he wants to do anyway. I just hope he, nor anyone else is hurt.