WARNING: this post
may does contain pseudo-profanity and seemingly uncharacteristic Shannon Content. PROCEED WITH CAUTION! (judgement withholding required)
Last night I finished reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson. I’m not usually a self-help book reader, but a dear friend of mine suggested that I read it and I’m glad that i did. (Thank you, Marty)
While Mr. Mason is in desperate need of a Thesaurus, he is spot on in most of what he says. Some of which is really great, giving some awesome advice on how to live a life more content, while some things MUST be taken with a grain of salt. (from this Christian’s standpoint anyway)
A basic summary of the book is best said as something my mentor (link added because she’s an amazing blogger too) has been saying to me for years:
“Will ______ matter in light of Eternity?”
If the answer is, “No!” then why do you care so much about it? or as Mark Manson says,”Why do you give a f*ck?”
here’s how this plays out in my life:
IF the answer is “NO!” then:
- why does what the people who don’t really love me think or say matter?
- why does what (insert name here) does with their life matter?
- who are you trying to please?
- what are you doing (anything) for?
what are you doing with this one life-this vapor on this planet-in LIGHT OF ETERNITY?!
A large part of the book is about the “metric” that we use to measure things by. Basically a “metric” is our values & beliefs. The things that make up why we care for who/what we care about, and the motivation behind it. Now, this book is NOT WRITTEN BY A BELIEVER in Jesus Christ, at least I assume not. (*gasp* Christians may use profanity?! and quote non-Christian philosophers?!) However, his point about the “metric” is correct. We make the decisions that we do, love who we love & Hhow we love, care for what we care for, BECAUSE of Who/What we believe in! So, if we believe in and are in love with and want to be more like Jesus Christ, we measure everything by Him!
I am a Christian. I am deeply in love with Jesus Christ and I’m doing my daily best to be more like Him.
HE IS WHY I DO WHAT I DO!
or THAT’S HOW IT SHOULD BE!
Yet, we walk on a fallen planet don’t we? We live here and if we are fulfilling our Abba-given purpose while we live here, we aren’t only with Christians all of the time. Yet sadly, for me anyway, the living of life on this planet gets in the way of what My Abba is saying to me.
I become WAY TO INVESTED in social media, I’m addicted really (there I said it!). I care too much about the opinions of others, in what I wish I had the time/energy/freedom to be doing, and sadly even in who I wish I were better friends with. So much so, that I miss the fact that the two little girls that call me “momma” are watching my actions and reactions. That by my being so distracted by the screens that I own (or own me depending on your perspective), I am missing them. The last 11 years have seemingly flown by and the next 7-10 will do the same. One day I will look up and they will be grown women, and I will mourn the days of dolls and craft time. I will also look over at the furry faced boy who lives here and wonder who he really is. Becuase in being so connected to everything else, we’ve someone become a bit disconnected from US. I have an amazing marriage and I am madly in love with Mr. Pants, and I want to be even more so. To once again be the kids who make out in the parking lot and hope no one sees.
So, I ask myself:
What are you going to care about during these so short years that your babies are still yours?! How much are you going to care about the 3 people who love you most?! What will REALLY mean something in Light of Eternity?!
Choosing US over them, THIS over that, BEST over good, _____ over ____, means that I’m neglecting what I didn’t choose. I’m INVESTING instead in what I chose! It’s a hard choice sometimes, but maybe it will get easier in time. Which means that maybe it won’t. Regardless, IN LIGHT OF ETERNITY I want to choose the right things. I want to walk the right path. Because in doing so, this vapor of a life will have mattered. Maybe even more so because I stopped “giving a f*ck” for the things that never really mattered anyway.
Thank you, Marty for challenging me to read such a powerful and disturbing of me book! I am a better woman for it and maybe even for knowing your crazy-hippy-antibacterial dog loving self.
featured image via: http://magdeleine.co/photo-by-martina-k-n-513/