my heart in my hands

In The Four Loves C.S. Lewis writes:

There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is hell.

closing yourself off is MUCH easier than loving people. Continue reading


and we speak

walking in his boots. up to my hips in daddy’s shoes.
sitting in his lap watching tv.
changes. in me. in him. in time.
then enough time changes.
and i’m a grown woman and he an older version of my daddy.
he calls.
we talk.
of life. of memories shared from his childhood.
revealing a  bit more of his life that i never thought to ask about.
we speak now.
of life; of mine. of his.
and i miss him

Laura Boggess

i read “A Grief Observed” by C.S. Lewis last night

i read A Grief Observed  by C.S. Lewis last night.

i love how he writes! i’ve only read a few of his books:Till We Have Faces: A Myth Retold, The Great Divorce, and The Chronicles of Narnia. all are amazing books, but all are fiction. A Grief Observed is definitely NOT!

i was moved by it because his rawness, anger, and questions are all ones that, if we were honest with ourselves, we have all had.

would i recommend it? I’M NOT SURE! Continue reading

complacency of fools


“For the simple are killed by their turning away,
    and the complacency of fools destroys them;
but whoever listens to me will dwell secure
    and will be at ease, without dread of disaster.”” Prov 1:32-33 esv

complacency: “a feeling of smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one’s achievements.”

smug….uncritically satisfied w/ oneself/achievements…prideful!     

it’s always such fun when God reveals a character flaw, isn’t it?!

i never thought i was prideful…smug…uncritically satisfied w/ my achievements. until that is, HE showed me.

i mean seriously, who wants to admit that?!

but i am…DESTROYED by it!

i find myself afraid to be the moron that I am in and of myself. afraid to let you know that I really know nothing. at. all.

that smug, that proud, that self-satisfied person seems stronger that me.

she seems brave. strong. powerful.


when i look at HIS WORD,  that person is killed, destroyed and DEAD!

 she can’t be brave, or strong, or powerful if she’s dead!

…but whoever listens to me will dwell secure
    and will be at ease, without dread of disaster.”

now this person…this WISE person who listens to Abba, she dwells secure, at ease, without dread of disaster.

i think i like her better.

“Let our faith be not alone
may our hearts be not of stone
give us souls that never close
to the grace that you bestow
may our eyes be quick to see
that you are here – you’ve come to rescue me” -Robbie Seay 



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Eph 3:14-19 (ESV) says:

“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”


and you, beloved, are SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF IT!

NOTHING you can ever do can make you worthy of Jesus’ love!  you cannot be “good enough” to deserve it. you cannot be “bad enough” to be refused it.

The Love of Jesus Christ is a GIFT!

and once we receive it, once you realize that He died a criminal’s death for YOU, and that HE’D DO IT ALL AGAIN IF IT WERE REQUIRED…when you get that… then it’s yours. FOREVER! and beloved, YOU are smack dab in the middle of that inconceivable Love of Jesus!

yet for most of us, some days it still takes STRENGTH to COMPREHEND IT.

we let the enemy make us feel unworthy of something we can’t ever be worthy of?! I mean how stupid is that?

isn’t it more freeing to realize that there’s nothing you have to do to remain in that kind of Love!?

there is a security in knowing I am sealed into a cube of Jesus’ love! Safe and sound and shielded and home!