18: Remember (31 days of the Power of Story)

have you ever had a rough patch of life where when you finally surrender IT ALL to Christ EVERYTHING that you read in Scripture, watch on TV or youtube…everything you hear points you to the ANSWER that God has for you?!

that has been me this week. i hope this posts encourages you as it has me. This is what ABBA has show me this week: REMEMBER!

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7: HOPE (31 days of The Power of Story)

of the 3,754 songs i have uploaded to google.play,  13 of them have the word ‘hope’ in the title. that is out of the 399 bands and 746 albums. granted since i don’t listen to much non-Christian music, only 1 of those songs is secular.

if i would have done the same search 20 years ago when i only listened to country music, that number would be MUCH BIGGER!

however, regardless of the genre so much of what we listen  to, watch, read, surround ourselves with desperate cries out for HOPE!!! so, what is HOPE anyway? Continue reading

1: 31 days of the Power of Story

i started a few days late…here’s day 1.

Kate over at www.fiveminutefriday.com has a list of writing prompts, if you want to join in.

day 1: story 

my “story”, like most, is quite long and drawn out. in an effort to not bore you to death, i’ll give you the abbreviated version:

i was born in a western Oklahoma town in 1980. the oldest child of my father, 2nd of my mother.

the rose colored glasses i wore as a child growing up in Texas where we moved when i started elementary, tint my memories, of which i have very few. i don’t know that there is a reason for that…and if there is i’m glad Abba has blocked it.

i grew up with 2 siblings, an older HERO of a brother and younger playmate as a sister. we may not have always been the best of friends, in fact we fought quite a bit over the years, but we always protected each other…which i believe is the point of life with siblings. our parents divorced when i was in high school and it took my many years to recovery. i could go on and on about “the trauma of a broken home” but we’ve all heard that story if we’ve cared to listen to it. while in the middle of it, i won’t lie, it wasn’t fun most of the time! BUT now that i’m an adult, happily married for 15 years with children of my own, i see things differently: i survived by GOD’S MAGNIFICENT GRACE!

i ended up graduating high school with college credit, attending and graduating from junior college with an associates in general education but a love for performance as a vocalist, then attending 2 years of Bible School. i married the “man of my dreams” at age 23, moved from the warm South to the frigid Midwest, and had 2 beautiful girls by age 27.

Abba brought a wonderful woman into my life shortly after my oldest was born. i have been so blessed to be discipled by her for these last almost 13 years. it was through God’s WORD spoken through her love for me, that ABBA brought much of the healing to the wounds of my childhood. those left unhealed came to wholeness when i had the honor to walk my daddy HOME (all about that journey here).

so here i sit, almost 3 years later, stronger and more confident in who God has made me to be than i’ve ever been.  this is a VERY SMALL portion of my story, and i know as i type this that this challenge to spend 31 days telling parts of the rest of it will not be the easiest thing. REGARDLESS, if the mess of a story that is mine brings HOPE and HEALING to one of my readers, it will be worth it.

before i go, i want to make perfectly clear this one thing: IT IS ONLY THROUGH THE POWER OF JESUS CHRIST IN MY LIFE THAT I HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR! it is not about me…”May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.” Galatians 6:4

i’m linking up to :

 

Messy us. 

Why are the wounded so often shot? I am so sick of the people who masquerade as “holy”.  Pretending that they have it all together, that they’re NOT a mess, when they DEFINITELY are. 

Those that make themselves look better by bullying others. Pretending to be grown-ups, when actually they are juvenile, insecure children who are just too scared to admit that they are a mess too. 

It embarrasses me for them. 

It would be easy to be furious. To stoop to the same level of bigotry and hurt. And to be quite honest, it would feel good, too. In my flesh anyway. 

But I am called to something higher and greater: FORGIVENESS!

 

So here’s what I say to the wounded Believers Among us:

You are holy & dearly loved! 

You are precious is Abba’s sight, the Apple of His eye. 

You are a member of a mass of messed-up people with issues just like yours. Not worse than, but maybe equal to. 

We are all unique in our individual mess, and we are all in this together. Not a one of us will make it out of here alive, but we can help each other stay afloat if we try

So, whoever told you that you weren’t worth it–their time, their effort, their energy, or their love- they were/are just liars and bullies! 

You know how I know? Because, I BELIEVE THE KING, WHO SAYS THAT YOU ARE WORTH EVERY THING HE WENT THROUGH! and, baby that’s EVERYTHING! 

birth, life, torture, and death. All of it! 

If He is up against your personal bully, He’s the honest one! HE’S THE ONLY ONE who’s voice is worth listening to. He’s the only one who will ALWAYS be in your corner, cheering you on.


 
And to the “such were some of you”s, of whom I am the chief member:

In a world so full of crazy, it’s so hard to hold on to love. To look at it deep and desire for it to take root in your soul. 
So we retreat to our corners, tend our wounded, and love deep. 

But what about the ones outside our den of contentment? 

The easy is to be apathetic to anyone and EVERYONE else.

The simple is to let them take care of themselves, and say “they aren’t worth it.”

But is that Our call? 

Isn’t the call of EVERY believer to love as He loved?!

And here’s where I ask The questions: 

How do we love those who don’t want our love? 

How do we care for those who shove us away Everytime we open our arms? 

How do we continue to reach for those who may never trust us enough to accept the love we offer? 

I really have no clue! 

But maybe it’s written in the blood that still flows from Calvary. 

Maybe it’s in NOT SHOOTING THE WOUNDED among us!

Maybe it’s seeing ourselves in the injuries they wear, and loving like Our Lover does. 

Even if and when we do. Not. Know. How.

Maybe it’s doing it anyway. One moment at a time.  

I’m sorry for shooting first instead of loving. I hate that I see this ugly in me. That I let that same fear that gives the bully his power, overwhelm me. There is no excuse for it,only many MANY tear drenched apologies.  I am choosing to be a giver of love, tender of wounds, cry-with-me mama, forgiver of wrongs, wear-ER of thicker skin.   While I’m trying, will you?  Will you choose those same things in the moment, instead of after?  


Easter week for him

holidays are the hardest.

last Easter i went to church with him. my mom, sister and her family were here. dad was happy. reading and posting entries from the journal i kept last year, brings everything to the forefront of my memory. how it felt to hold his hand when we got the diagnosis. how it hurt to watch him cry. how i knew that i’d miss his snoring. Feeling Holiness touch me as I sat with him our last Easter.

Tomorrow is Good Friday. I wondered for a long time why it was called that.

Hebrews 12:1-3 says:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

i get it now.

For the JOY set before HIM he endured the cross…Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

The JOY set before Him was US! MY DAD! ME!

Jesus Christ Died so we could live!

He chose to die because Life with US for eternity IS JOY! His CHOSEN JOY!

AMEN?!

 

Father, it is hard not to be sad. So very hard. I miss my Daddy…terribly. Thank You for calling me to journal his last year, and that You for asking me to share it. I don’t know who will read it, if anyone will, but I know the remembering for me is healing. If there’s anyone who needs to know it will be ok in the end…that mourning ebbs and flows like the tide, but you survive it. If anyone wonders how they will make it…I hope that by reading my messy thoughts, they see YOU! Your Hand that guided me through. Your hand that held us both as we walked the cancer path. Your arm that is now around my Daddy’s shoulders as he sits and talks with You. So, Thank YOU ABBA for loving my Dad and for dying to set him free!

HAPPY EASTER, FATHER!

 

 

I hope you are well, dear friend. Trusting Jesus when life is so hard you can hardly breathe, isn’t easy. maybe it is for some people, but it wasn’t for me. it was a moment by moment gasping-for-breath clawing-at-my-neck kinda of gasp for help. and it came in the gentle answers, the whispers of the Holy Spirit, and the reminders that God would never leave me nor forsake me. I could only be strong because HE is! and you can too, beloved. Just ask HIM. RECEIVE HIS HELP IN THE GIFT OF HIS SON, JESUS! Celebrate this Easter knowing that there is light at end of the tunnel. and His JOY is waiting for us!

 

i’d love to pray with you. comment and i WILL reply!

You are Not Alone, Beloved. (Psalm 10)

“Why do You stand afar off, O Lord?
Why do You hide in times of trouble?
The wicked in his pride persecutes the poor;
Let them be caught in the plots which they have devised.
For the wicked boasts of his heart’s desire;
He blesses the greedy and renounces the Lord.
The wicked in his proud countenance does not seek God;
God is in none of his thoughts.
His ways are always prospering;
Your judgments are far above, out of his sight;
As for all his enemies, he sneers at them.
He has said in his heart, “I shall not be moved;
I shall never be in adversity.”

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imperfection

why is it that we kill our own? why do we as believers hold each other to so high a standard, such an unattainable standard, that if WHEN we fail, we make each other feel like failures?
when did we become a body that looks with disdain at our members because they don’t happen to SIN the same as us? because she doesn’t bruise the same? Continue reading